squabbling over the inheritance

Dad: It’s time we talked about how we dispose of our property after your mother and I die.

Jane: It’s Father’s Day, Dad. Do you really want to think about this?

Dad: It’s better that we think about it now, while I’m actually still alive.

Jane: Can I get the house?

Dad: Sure.

Mom: When are you going to get a job?

Jane: Maybe I’ll just kill you guys and get the house.

Dad: I’ll put in a clause that says that if you murder me, ┬áthe lawyer will liquidate all our assets, buy gold bars, and then throw them into the sea.